A Very Yuri Nativity – Part 3
Posted on | December 29, 2007 | 4 Comments |
Part 3
INT Nurse’ office, behind screen DAY. We hear the heated conversation of TOMOYO and SAKURA behind the screen as the 3 SHEPHERDESSES enter carrying a very unconscious and trussed up AMANE-SHEEP.
YAYA: Osu…
TSUBOMI: Pardon our intrusion…
SAKURA (VO): Stop it Tomoyo-chan, not here!
TOMOYO (VO): But Sakura-chan! I just want to use it while I still have it…so
S: (VO): Just stop pointing that thing at me!
HIKARI and TSUBOMI look at YAYA. YAYA wipes away a tiny rivulet of blood from her nose with the back of her hand.
Y: (calls) It seems you’re busy, so we’ll come back to visit the Messiah later if that’s OK…
TOMOYO bounds out energetically from behind the curtain holding her ENTIRELY NON-PHALLIC CAMCORDER and pulls back the screens to reveal a cowering SAKURA. HIKARI and TSUBOMI sweatdrop and look at YAYA who shrugs.
T: (sweetly) Come right in!
The SHEPHERDESSES troup in, dragging AMANE-SHEEP behind them.
Ts: (kneeling) We were visited by an angel of Oharuhi-sama and told that a child of her kin had been born here and have come to worship her
Y: We offer this sheep in humble sacrifice…
AMANE-SHEEP bleats weakly.
T: That’s really thoughtful of you, but we really don’t need…a…sheep.
SAKURA shakes her head in agreement
Y: Aww, pretty pretty please?
SAKURA and TOMOYO both shake their heads
Y: Useless sheep.
YAYA kicks AMANE-SHEEP into the hallway. There is a crash, frenzied bleating and, inexplicably, a woman’s scream. ALL sweatdrop
S: Would you like to hold her?
SAKURA hands SHIZURU to TSUBOMI. She gurgles appreciatively and scrabbles at her top. TSUBOMI blushes.
Ts: What is she doing?
S: (rolls eyes) She always goes straight for the milk…
SHIZURU pauses in her ministrations and looks up, catching TSUBOMI’s eye. There is an almost unnoticable flash of light. HIKARI takes SHIZURU from TSUBOMI’s arms, but TSUBOMI remains rooted to the spot.
H: Who’s a pretty girl then? (descends rapidly into baby babble)
Y: Are you alright, Tsubomi-chan? You look spooked…
TSUBOMI turns round slowly towards her. Suddenly her eyes YAYA who staggers back, surprised.
Ts: Yaya sem…pai!~~
Y: Tsubomi-chan…w-what are you doing?
YAYA glances over TSUBOMI’s shoulder only to be double glomped by an equally amorous HIKARI who pushes her to the ground. HIJINKS commence
Y: Hikari-chan, Tsubomi-chan! Please, at least wait till we get home! Hikari! No! Bad girl! (There is a ripping sound) Those were my favourite panties damn you! Aargh!
SAKURA blushes and puts her hand over SHIZURU’s eyes.
FADE TO BLACK. CURTAIN
NARRATOR: And after the hijinks and err… second helpings…and dessert hijinks were over with and the post-orgasmic laziess had passed, the overly amorous shepherdesses and their extremely aesthetically challenged sheep went out and told others of the miracles that they had witnessed there in the nurse’s office…Or rather…Yaya ran round the school trying to escape her insatiable girlfriends and cursing the name of Oharuhi-sama…Which pretty much had the same effect.
YAYA runs out from between the curtain and hides behind the NARRATOR
YAYA: Please. Help me! I haven’t slept for three days! Oharuhi-sama, why hast thou forsaken me? I’ll never pray for a harem ever again! (There is the sound of running footsteps in the distance) Oharuhi-sama protect me, here they come again…
She runs off stage right. Shortly afterwards, HIKARI and TSUBOMI amble through the curtains. NARRATOR wordlessly points off stage right. They nod and exit stage right. There is a distant scream. NARRATOR clears her throat.
N: Ahem! And so our story continues in a far away land where three young wise women lived, who spent their lives in study and contemplation of the mysteries and conundrums of the universe…
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December 29th, 2007 @ 11:22 pm
*hearts* for Sakura and Tomoyo ^_^
December 30th, 2007 @ 2:02 am
*giggles*
Oh yeah, more! More!
December 30th, 2007 @ 3:33 am
I have a feeling Shizuru is going to be anything but pious when she gets older. *grins* This is one of the funniest things I’ve read all season.
December 30th, 2007 @ 5:53 am
I am speechless ^_^ in a good way lol.
Nice work Yuribou.