Yuri to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito

A Shoujo ai centred Weblog

A Very Yuri Nativity – Part 6

Posted on | January 3, 2008 | 3 Comments |

Part 6
NANOHA: I’m afraid I can’t let you do that…

Eva: You already said that…

Na: That was before the commercial break! As I was saying…

Eva: Hang on, what commercial break?

Na: You know, that bit where we all froze and the Narrator came on and said

“This Nativity is brought to you by the following sponsors: ABC Lawyers – bargain barristers for all your business blunders; Pee ando Geeto – sponsoring every anime since 1967 and Inward Strapons, the crazy fun new Christmas gift idea from Bandai Entertainment.”

TOMOYO and KONOKA: Nooooooooooooooo…

Fifteen minutes later

To & Ko: …ooooooooooo…

NANOHA glances at her watch. Half the AUDIENCE have fallen asleep.

Na: Raging Heart, Squid launcher!

RAGING HEART: “ALL RIGHT MY MASTER”

KONOKA and TOMOYO’s mouths are plugged with MAGICAL SQUID OF SILENCING.

Na: Ahh, that’s better. Now, where were we before that pointless comedic diversion?

SHIZURU wakes and is rapidly shushed by SAKURA.

Na: That’s it! I came to kill her! You came to take my kingdom from me afer all I have done for anime lesbian relationships…Take this!

RH: “DIVINE SHOOTER”

Pink balls of energy gather around NANOHA and shoot out towards SHIZURU and SAKURA. At the last second, they glance off an invisible wall of energy and rebound destroying one of the curtains dramatically, revealing a COUPLE IN A ROMANTICALLY COMPROMISING SITUATION and destroying half the outside wall. Girls start screaming and run out of the room until only TOMOYO, SAKURA, SETSUNA, EVANGELINE, KONOKA and NANOHA are left.

The smoke slowly clears

Na: (sweatdrops) You’re not bad, but your costume leaves little to the imagination…

SAKURA is still wearing her nightgown, but she has neglected to take off the bondage ropes SHIZURU tied her up with in the LAST SCENE. She looks down, impassively.

Sa: Sword! Release me…

Her wand transforms into a sword and the ropes instantly break, tumbling down around her in tatters.

Sa: So you want a fight, then, Nanoha-sama? Then I might give you the privilege of seeing my true power – before it vapourises you! Windy!

Na: Yeah, sorry about the wall…Ufff!

Air wraps around NANOHA, lifting her off the floor. SETSUNA rushes towards her, sword in hand. NANOHA closes her eyes in concentration.

Se: Rock Splitting Sword – ZAN GAN KE…

As the sword closes in on the seemingly helpless NANOHA, one pink ball zooms back through the hole in the wall and slams into SETSUNA’s back, knocking her through the door with a crash. NANOHA slowly descends back towards the ground.

RH: “BIND BREAK”

SAKURA leaps at her wielding SWORD, but the blow glances off NANOHA’s shield. SETSUNA attacks from the opposite side, but is blocked by another shield from NANOHA’s left hand.

RH: “BARRIER BURST”

A burst of energy from NANOHA’s left hand sends SETSUNA flying into one of the beds, knocking her unconscious. KONOKA rushes over to her. SAKURA leaps back out of NANOHA’s range, sword raised. She glances over into the far corner, where EVANGELINE is munching on microwave popcorn. Behind her, TOMOYO has broken out the camcorder and is enthusiastically filming from every angle.

Sa: Tomoyo-chan, Not NOW!

To: But Sakura-chan, this kind of fight between magical girls never happens outside of crossover fanfiction! If I didn’t record this, I’d never forgive myself…

SAKURA sighs and looks back towards NANOHA. RAGING HEART ejects two cartridges with a clunk.

RH: “AXEL SHOOTER”

Sa: Jump!

SAKURA gathers up SHIZURU in her arms and jumps out of the hole in the wall down to the courtyard below, followed hotly by seven of NANOHA’s projectiles. The camera films through the hole as SAKURA jumps down.

Sa: Shadow! Eight decoys!

Mist condenses around her as she lands clearing to reveal nine identical SAKURAS. NANOHA jumps down nimbly as her energy bolts hit seven of them, dissipating harmlessly. As NANOHA lands, the two remaining SAKURAS leap towards her from either side, sword swinging.

Sa: Now! Shadow Cross!

There is a flash as the two slash simultaneously. SAKURA looks up at NANOHA, who is floating a hundred feet in the air. NANOHA puts her hand to her face where a shallow cut is just beginning to bleed and licks the blood from her finger. She raises RAGING HEART as three cartridges are ejected.

RH: “EXCELION MODE – EXCELION BUSTER, FORCE BURST”

SAKURA places SHIZURU on the ground behind her and Shield appears around her. She looks up again and closes her eyes. Her nightgown disappears instantly, replaced by a skintight red and black fighting leotard like costume with silver accessories obviously designed by TOMOYO. Up at the window, TOMOYO’s nose starts to bleed uncontrollably.

Sa: Fly! Fiery! Make me a speeding comet to smite my enemy!

SAKURA launches herself upwards as her wings explode from her back in a cloud of feathers. Fiery appears briefly to envelop her in flames as she speeds towards NANOHA.

Na: Break SHOOT!

A wide beam issues forth from the tip of RAGING HEART towards SAKURA. As it hits her, it splits harmlessly asunder to SAKURA’s outstretched sword. NANOHA smilys beatifically as SAKURA closes in on her at breakneck speed. There is an explosion of the pink variety.

As the smoke clears, SAKURA is floating where NANOHA was, frantically looking around for her foe, just as NANOHA teleports in behind her and puts her hand on her shoulder.

RH: “FLASH MOVE”

Na: That’s the trouble with you close range fighters; I could have seen that coming ten years ago.

RH: “DIVINE BUSTER – POINT BLANK”

Sa: MOVE!

A pink flame issues briefly from NANOHA’s hand, just as SAKURA winks out of existance and appears again a hundred yards away. She puts a hand to her shoulder and winces as she feels burnt flesh through a ragged hole in her costume. RAGING HEART opens to let off steam.

Sa: (breathless) And you device users…always with the quips. Who do you think you are, Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Na: You took a gamble, card user; expending your shield on the child and leaving yourself defenceless. Do you really think you can defeat me like this?

Sa: (angrily) And you, King Nanoha, what are you doing? Have you ever stopped to look at what you have become? You used to be a kind and benevolent ruler who always listened to her subjects, but what of you now? Indulging yourself in beautiful young virgins and fine wines as your citizens complain of rising taxes and your kingdom falls apart at the seams! And even now; bursting in here with murderous intent to kill an innocent baby girl! I cannot let this carry on, Nanoha!

The two circle each other, warily.

Na: Perhaps you are right, peasant girl. I have grown lazy in my ever-growing wealth and indeed, I must admit that the most microscopic amount of cellulite does grace the divine expanse of my thighs. But that child, that innocent child there threatens the very lifestyle we all now lead! Do you not see? By making yuri mainstream and out of the realms of subtext and pure fanservice, the whole magic of the subtextual relationship will be lost! Fans hoping for a quick yuri fanservice fix will be over-exposed to such a degree that it will no longer titillate them to the same degree! Yuri as we know it will cease to be…special.

Sa: No, it is you that does not understand, Nanoha! You are just afraid of change – terrified that there will no longer be a place for you in this brave new yuri world…

SAKURA drops back into fighting stance.

Sa: Mirror! Mask my movements! Dash! Random evasion pattern!

RH: “SNIPE SHOT”

SAKURA splits into two and launches herself at NANOHA. Pink beams of light zoom past them as they dash zigzaggedly towards her. One glances off an arm, leaving a bleeding gash. Another hits a SAKURA full on, which explodes in a shower of green glowing particles.

Sa: (screams) Wood! Hold my enemy in place!

Tendrils of wood shoot up from the ground, binding NANOHA’s arms and legs tightly. We see SAKURA’s determined face as the sword flashes down in an arc towards NANOHA.

There is a splatter of blood, though it is not obvious from where. The view slowly clears…

————————-

End Part 6

The next part will be the last part – I promise!! Cross my heart etc. etc. etc.

Thanks for sticking with it this far!

Yuribou

Category: Fanfiction, Humour?, Shoujo-ai

Comments

3 Responses to “A Very Yuri Nativity – Part 6”

  1. YuribouFan
    January 3rd, 2008 @ 2:36 am

    The next part is the last one well that stinks but yeah all the stuff that has happened in this part pretty much the next part would have to be the end and I have been glad to read A Very Yuri Nativity so your welcome.

    Instant Win:

    “This Nativity is brought to you by the following sponsors: ABC Lawyers – bargain barristers for all your business blunders; Pee ando Geeto – sponsoring every anime since 1967 and Inward Strapons, the crazy fun new Christmas gift idea from Bandai Entertainment.”

    Bandai lol a winner is you!

    Be back tommorrow

    YuribouFan

  2. Crisu
    January 3rd, 2008 @ 5:09 am

    Sakura v. Nanoha~

    *droools!* So nice!

  3. Ripdog
    January 3rd, 2008 @ 6:41 am

    Holy crap… this is the best fight scene in a fanfic involving Sakura that i have ever read… *drool*

    Please don’t let it end!

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