Yuri to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito

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Nanoha StrikerS – The Real End?

Posted on | November 6, 2007 | 7 Comments |

Well, I finally finished watching the subs of Nanoha StrikerS. I know I have spent a lot of time bitching about the series, and the ending, despite STARLIGHT BREAKER X5 was rather lacklustre to say the least. And to top it all off, they finished up with exactly the same thing that they did last time with A’s – the annoying “This is what happens in a couple of years” epilogue, complete with lots of “she is following her dreams” and plenty of “Wow, she is as awesome as she wanted to be when she was little”. We got that last time! You don’t need two epilogues in one franchise!

So further to that, I had a great idea – Why not do one myself with all the endings I wanted to happen?

Why not indeed? This is MIDCHILDA after all…

Nanoha StrikerS END

Erio

After trying unsuccessfully to get Caro into bed and have semilegal shotaloli hijinks, Erio finally realises that he needs more training and sets off to the mountains in order to pursue the long path of BECOMING A GIRL. Only when he has embraced his inner vagina will he be allowed into the comfortable confines of Caro’s embrace.

Caro

Completely unaware of Erio’s advances, Caro is sad to see Erio leave on his long journey, but is comforted by her ever present familiars Fried and Voltaire. After accidentally walking in on Lutecia and Garyuu in an amusingly embarassing embrace, she sets about training her familiars in the dark carnal arts and taking her first steps into dragon bestiality.

Lutecia

Bored at the Numbers’ rehabilitation centre, Lutecia derives a new form of rehabilitating the misfit cyborgs. Details are kept strictly confidential, but every day, the girls exit the training area looking just that little bit more bow legged and wincing a little more than usual. It goes without saying that one winders whether she got it from her mother…

Teana and Subaru

Teana finally loses her emo streak when a drunken Subaru finally corners her on the training field and proceeds to do things to her that Mach Caliber was definitely not designed for. Let’s just say that they went through a fair amount of cartridges that night…After a lengthy spell in repairs, Mach Caliber is back just in time for Teana and Subaru’s wedding, after which they spend their time in equal proportions screwing each other silly, rescuing lost children from various trees and trying to win Caro back from the clutches of bestiality to have a good old fashioned yuri orgy.

Hayate

Realises that finally standing up and doing things in the last few episodes was a bad idea and decides to set up a S&M parlour (The Parlour of Pain) with Shamal as Head Dominatrix in which she can sit down on anyone she wants and get other people to do things instead of having to actually stand up to do them.

Vita

Becomes Hayate and Shamal’s first submissive in their new Parlour of Pain because obviously she already services Hayate’s every whim and gets regular naked beatings from her on a daily basis, so stepping that up to a commercial setting was probably not a great leap of the imagination. Currently puts on shows for other female punters involving some mainstream solo work with Graf Eisen and some fetish oriented stuff with Rein.

Reinforce II

Only to pleased to help out Hayate in bringing out her first DVD production: “Deep inside Vita”.

Signum

Happily released from Hayate’s service, though she pays a visit to discipline Vita every once in a while, Signum moves away with Agito and she discovers the usefulness of having a lover who can fit inside small spaces and doesn’t need to breathe. They eventually get married and accidentally burn down the hotel on their honeymoon.

Fate and Nanoha

Fate finally gathers the courage to ask Nanoha to marry her and a fantasy wedding with lots of ribbons and lace is set up for them, but on the day, Nanoha bursts in and declares that she can’t marry Fate as she has fallen in love with Vivio and discovered the joys of yuriloli loving. After a lot of crying and heartfelt talks, a few pitched battles across the training ground that almost demolish the TSAB and a few gallons of caramel milk, the love triangle is resolved when Fate also discovers that Vivio is indeed rather skilled. The three of them then become civil partners and spend years trying to sort out their Council Tax.

Arf and Lindy

Are left in a critical condition in hospital after the series ends, suffering from underexposure due to only having two lines in the entire series.

All the extras introduced this season and all the non-consequential characters like Vice and Shari

Happen to be in the hotel when Signum and Agito are making sweet monkey love and tragically die in the resultant blaze of magical glory. Only Carim survives, as she is shielded from the flames by the powers of her enormous brassiere.

Category: Anime, Editorials, Humour?, Nanoha

Comments

7 Responses to “Nanoha StrikerS – The Real End?”

  1. Skh
    November 6th, 2007 @ 10:34 pm

    LOL. This post is really hilarious.

  2. ookami onna
    November 6th, 2007 @ 11:55 pm

    I love your humor XD It would be great if all those things really happened.

  3. Akakori
    November 7th, 2007 @ 12:16 am

    Why can’t they animate this instead.

    I swear I’m hanging on for an yuri nano-fate wedding OVA. Maybe we can petition them…

    (council tax line made me really lol. Thank you)

  4. meganeshounen
    November 7th, 2007 @ 1:02 am

    There goes my pure vision of the StrikerS crew.

    Oh wait, what vision…

  5. Asuka
    November 7th, 2007 @ 3:04 am

    definitely an ending. This is hao it should be.

  6. Tye The Czar
    November 7th, 2007 @ 8:47 pm

    I can’t wait to see what you do with the ending of One Piece, Naruto, or Negima!

  7. V
    November 19th, 2007 @ 7:07 am

    ROFLMAO! It is so worth Live Bookmarking this site, because this should be how StrikerS should have been.

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