On unrequited love, stalking and eventually – hawt sex.

Posted on | September 9, 2008 | 6 Comments |

This week I have been mostly thinking about unrequited love.

Mostly, I’ve been thinking about storylines and how they relate to everyday life. If you’re wondering about where this particular thought came from, most of the inspiration came from this week’s release of the latest (August) chapter of my favourite yuri manga, Girlfriends. If you don’t know about this manga, you must have had your head in the sand, since I’ve been raving about it on more than one occasion. Also, you might want to close your ears to the rest of the post, as there may be some spoilerage coming up…

In the latest chapter of Girlfriends, things come to a climax after months and months of beating about the bush when Mari, who has long realised that her feelings for Akko, her best friend, are “more than best-friendly” finally snaps and tells Akko that actually, the person she likes best in the whole world is actually right underneath her at this very moment. With her tongue.

Now apart from the squees this brought me and the collapsing into a heap of yuri mush, this brought up a very important issue for me.

Unrequited love.

Or crushes, if you will, are pretty inseperable from the whole high school experience, together with getting together with people just because they’re interested, brief meaningless fumblings when the parents aren’t looking and serious sexual blunders. And in this respect, I really like that Girlfriends decided not to skirt around those issues. (Three cheers for brewer’s droop ^^;;). However, I think the way that the fantasy world of anime handles the common High School Crush is quite interesting as to whether it owes it’s rose-tinted nature to the author or the audience.

This is the anatomy of a typical manga crush: (Either way round, of course)

Boy likes girl but she is of a higher social level –> Boy confesses to girl but is duly REJECTED –> Strange situation forces the two together –> Girl decides after 12 episodes that actually, the boy isn’t so bad either –> Slowly they fall in love because boy does something cool sometime which makes the girl swoon. Even though he’s an idiot all the rest of the time –> PE storeroom hijinks –> She dumps him because he has micropenis (this is usually after the end of the series)

Atypical manga crush:

Boy likes girl of higher social level –> Boy doesn’t confess to girl because he knows he’ll get rejected –> Boy finds out that actually, girl likes him for some unknown and poorly defined reason –> girl confesses to boy –> Hijinks –> Zzz Audience falls asleep.

Alternative manga crush:

Boy and girl both have crushes on each other, but situational comedy prevents them from finding out about it. Also, they are stupid. –> Eventually, one or the other finds out usually through some ill-advised plot twist –> Confession –> Lifetime of pure and boring missionary position. –> Boy gives up and finds prostitute. –> They elope together to Las Vegas

Indie manga crush:

Boy likes girl for long time –> Girl is dim and hasn’t noticed –> Boy confesses to girl –> Girl hadn’t considered Boy up till this point and becomes confused –> Friendship deteriorates as a result –> The two are brought back together by a rousing motivational speech from one of the supporting characters –> Hawt make up S&M –> Boy wishes he’d never introduced her to bondage.

Neo-electronica punk-emo manga crush

Boy likes girl so much he decides to stalk her (NB: This is a CRIME) –> Boy discovers girl’s amazing secret –> To shut Boy up, Girl must invite him into her little world of superhero crimefighting –> They become inexplicably closer as a result –> Girl decides that actually, she quite likes this guy who used to stalk her and was probably going to blackmail her –> Boy films their first time and sells it on the interweb –> $Profit$

Yeah, perhaps I embellished those a little…

I guess what I wanted to make clear was that there are a fair few stereotypical paths that the old-chestnut can go down, but usually if one of the people involved is the main character, he/she gets his crush in the end. (Unless there’s a more important character he should be fumbling with).

But in real life, has any one of us ever had a meaningful relationship with someone they had a crippling and insurmountable crush on? You know the type I mean, the “Learning their timetable so you can glimpse them after lessons”, “Finding who and where they like to hang out so you can be casually walking by”, “taking secret pictures of them at social gatherings you both happen to be at”, the “hours spent thinking of ways to strike up uncomfortable conversations with them” and the “planning multiple ways of asking them out” through to “fantasising what getting to do it with them would be like (not that you’d had any experience of that at that point)” and “hounding them with emails and text messages until they have no choice but to slap a restraining order on you”.

I’m counting on the answer being “no” ^^;;

There’s a few things about real crushes that are consistent with their anime counterparts: They’re usually on someone who is of a higher social standing (either in the year above or just someone popular that everyone thinks is cool) and they’re usually on someone who to all accounts and purposes hasn’t noticed you at all up till that point.

The problem with unrequited love at that age is that it is usually that – unrequited. There is a reason why you and your crush move in different social circles: usually because she is much cooler than you. This means that at best, you could expect to be considered “that amusing guy from the Movie-research society”. There’s also a reason she hasn’t been returning your longing glances that you’ve ben giving her: She’s not interested.

Think of it this way: nerdy unremarkable kid, quite clever, fancies quirky beautiful maiden in the year above. Why does he fancy her? She’s pretty, clever and plays on the girl’s basketball team. His extracurricular activities? Chess club and a thinly veiled excuse to fapping to porn on the interweb during school hours. What are the chances that secretly she wants to join the Computer research society for their sticky tissue sessions and peruse the interwebs for that elusive movie by some Uraguayan pornstar. Err. Probably unlikely.

So what’s my point in all this?

If the chances of a High school crush developing into a meaningful relationship are smaller than poor Example #1 Boy’s tiddywinkle, then why is it that most anime persue the ideal that they all actually come true and lead to fulfilling long term relationships and marriage? Either it is the authors, feeling cheated out of their high school love affairs during their college lives resorting to their art to portray their ultimate romance or it is the audience of otaku that love to view secretly two-sided crushes fulfilled in the end.

Or perhaps a bit of both. Since authors are usually purveyors as well, it’s not a remote possibility.

You only have to look at the voracious uptake of visual novels and hentai games to realise the market in fantastical relationships where you can turn indifference into love with the right conversation choices. Perhaps it is the fault of otaku for longing for that pretty girl in the year above for all those years that has caused this fantasy to persist. And who can blame them? It’s comforting to see stories where one-sided love ends up fulfilled and the Beauty and the Geek make the happy couple, when in real life she would be erasing all his porn and throwing away his Warhammer miniatures while he would hate her for spending so much time insisting he come out shopping for shoes and hanging out with her friends when he could have been playing a crucial game of Team Fortress 2 instead.

If only real life came with an FAQ or the dead could pass on their savegames maybe we wouldn’t have all these problems…But where would the fun be in that?

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Category: Editorials, Humour?

Comments

6 Responses to “On unrequited love, stalking and eventually – hawt sex.”

Alexeon
September 9th, 2008 @ 5:38 pm

Haha, a FAQ would be great but Id love some cheats even more… a raise INT cheat and an unlimited $ cheat. :D

I once had a crush. I was in sixth or seventh grade and there was a girl that was very attractive (to me at the time.) She was a blond girl that was very popular with other girls. We had some classes together and she would sometimes say hi to me but thats as far as it really went. I really liked her but after I changed schools to a charter school and didnt see her again till 12th grade, I lost interest in her.

She was the only crush I really had. There have been attractive girls around me before in school or at work (lots of Asian girls at my job…) but none really grab my attention these days… maybe I just watch too many Uragayan actresses works and Im not as interested in meat space anymore… or maybe I just know I dont have the schedule for a crush or a girlfriend.

Interesting side note, I may have seen that girl working at the COPIC marker stand at the Anime Expo 08 last July. Im pretty sure the girl that checked me out was her and that she said my nickname as I left… I could have been hearing things though.

Wow… I barely ever post a comment and now Im ranting. Gomen. ^_^;
Adam
September 9th, 2008 @ 6:29 pm

Short, shameful confession: this month’s chapter of Girl Friends managed to produce the nearest thing to a “squee” that I’m ever likely to utter. Here’s hoping (some chance!) that Akko doesn’t take it badly…
Joku
September 9th, 2008 @ 9:29 pm

… Don’t know where to read Girlfriends … So uhm ok by the way i agree to this theory and i don’t really approve this stereotype plots (muha plot? what plot?)! So but then theres one question i want to ask: Isn’t manga here to show us the special happens in life? The characters are meant to be nothing other than we are, but they happen to be special because they have a big amount of luck to get into a situation where their loving is taking a turn. They suddenly become their love wishes fulfilled what is actually the special point, that won’t MOSTLY happen in real. But because this manga is made to show this special situation of this special person it becomes a bit of realistic – that’s what i say to myself to believe all the stories… I mean isn’t it manga there to show us something else than simple life, like every else movie? It just shows a person that happens to have a experience that will mostly only happen one time in life.

- sn: Damn I wanted the first comment again…
- sn2: I begin to really enjoy commenting it makes the blog much more fun, I should have start this earlier i mean i even get hugged by unknown comment writers and yuribou talked to me … my life is fulfilled, Hey make a manga out of me im a special person ^^; !
Chilipop
September 10th, 2008 @ 2:52 am

The more I read manga (and especially Yuri manga), the more I realize that

-if the characters aren’t being too ‘edgy’,
-they are being the opposite and it goes into the realm of ‘wishful thinking’.

Seriously, yuribou is right, how many times has an actual crush turned into something real? Not very damn much- and sometimes I suspect that many of the manga that portray a hot girl falling for an awkward geek is simply a visual version of the authors not having much of a highschool life…and knowing that many of their readers don’t have a good highschol life, write that way. Hey, it gets readers.

Most eventually have the girl become the dere of the tsundere way too much for my taste.

There are a lot less manga where the guy falls for the girl because of her self merit and strong personality, but that’s another story.
Hendayo
September 10th, 2008 @ 3:42 pm

My personal experience is as follows: crush on a new girl every other month from seventh grade to freshman year of college, while remaining sufficiently realistic to never try anything with any of them. Fall madly in love with a classmate freshman year of college, but never tell her, preferring friendship to nothing (plus she turns gay a couple years later). Seven years later, romance abruptly develops with another friend I’ve known since early college, who becomes first (and so far only) real girlfriend. Why am I telling you? Hell if I know.
Jaden
September 12th, 2008 @ 5:26 pm

I think Joku hit on the reason, it is escapism so it has be that just that little bit over the top. I mean having things with a sense of realism is nice, but we are still talking about fantasy here. It is like with superhero comics, you know the chances of guys in capes flying around is at zero but it is still a fun read. But also like how a lot of people would love superpowers, a lot of people would also want a destined and exciting romance. This is almost an universal dream, it is just tweaked to fit the target audience.

As for crushes of my own, they always turn out wierd since I am not attracted to people. Anyway the only crush I had in highschool happened like this. I was having an off day and this girl was singing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”, I yelled at her she yelled back I ended up calling her a bitch. Anyway about two weeks later a political discussion started and we got to talking and realized we had fun talking to each other. I had feelings for her, I told her that she said she didn’t. No big deal since I never really wanted anything other than conversation. So we spent the next two years talking to each before we lost contact.