Swimsuits – The meaning of summertime?
Posted on | July 1, 2009 | 9 Comments |
Well, we’re well into summer here in the UK – it’s the tradition here to have an uncharacteristically warm spell in June, which gets all the nice hours of sunshine out of the way to make way for business as usual during July and August (if the recent years are anything to go by…)
And what could be the better highlight of summer than the obligatory beach episode? The (freezing cold) sea! The sand that gets everywhere for days afterwards! The sun that goes behind a cloud the moment you’ve changed into your swimsuit! The really sharp things that cut your feet after you’ve finally gotten used to the freezing cold water! Ahh…the joys of the beach trip.
Of course, things are different in animeland. There, the clouds never cover up the sun and the sand virtually never gets everywhere you wouldn’t want it to go (except for comic effect, of course…So on request this week, I’ve decided to do a post about swimsuits!
So what is it particularly about swimsuits that gets mens (and presumably some women’s) hearts ablaze with moe power? Here are a few suggestions…
- There is a significant increase in skin exposure
What better excuse to see women in their underwear and not be slapped? It is fairly amusing that (anime) girls will fly into a pervert induced fist flying fury when they get walked in on in their underwear but will happily run around on the beach in – what are effectively bra and panties. I guess in the former they are unexpectedly being seen in their skimpies, whereas in the latter they spend hours and hours picking out even skimpier skimpies so that men will look at them. Boggling. - The skin tightness exposes the curves in all the right places (as opposed to reality, where 80% of the time it exposes the fat in all the wrong places)
Let’s face it, all anime girls are artificially built like Barbie dolls, so what better way to show off that figure than with a wet T-shirt competiti—ahem, with running down the beach in your skin hugging one-piece. Oh, and for the benefit of those of the fairer sex who are a little too roly poly for a bikini – please please don’t wear a bikini. You’re putting that family over there off their lunch… - Increased bounce from lack of bra
Well, refer back to point 1 – since bikini tops are effectively brassieres but without the useful added support (or as love and I like to call it – Advanced Japanese Technology), running down the beach in a bikini is effectively like watching Queen’s Blade (where presumably the bra hasn’t been invented yet…or fighting strengthens the pectorals sufficiently that they aren’t needed…) See also point 5 - It’s like seeing girls in underwear, but outdoors
Again with the underwear…we get it – men like seeing girls in skimpy clothing. - Nipples
This is a pretty Marmite point (no, not Marimite point – I can’t really picture Sachiko in a bikini), since I’m not really into the whole “suggestive nipple outline” thing, but I assume the creators of the artificial erect nipple prosthetics are. Personally, I think waterproof bandaids over nipples are far more sexy. And they avoid chafing. Bonus.
I must stress at this point that there doesn’t seem to be anything sexy at all about men’s swimwear – I suppose girls who get their kicks from seeing mens’ packages in Speedos are in there, but the Bermuda shorts favoured by those of us whose brains are above our waists are not exactly the babe magnets that we’d hope them to be.
But there are so many choices when it comes to girls’ swimsuits… Here are a few of the regular human styles – and a few of the more exotic (and gravity defying) styles that anime has brought us:
- One piece
Ahh, the poor one piece – least sexy and most conservative of all swimwear. Best used in order to accentuate a girl’s shy character (see also School swimsuit) or her “normal-ness” e.g. the main love interest in a harem/H-game anime. The one advantage of this design is that it pulls the midriff flab in slightly and avoids “overspillage” over the waistline. Not that that’s a problem in anime. - Tankini
The favoured swimwear of the flat chested and the sporty (read: flat chested), the Tankini is a tank top on top of bikini bottoms. The main reason that better endowed women don’t wear it is that with larger breasts it somehow ceases to be swimwear and just looks like everyday wear. Hmm. Maybe this is because flat-chested girls don’t wear tank tops since it accentuates their flat-chestedness. At least on the beach you can look kind of sporty and cool, as opposed to not ever being able to fill out an AA cup bikini top. There there. - Bikini
The mainstay of the beachwear community, I think we can thank America for bringing underwear to beaches worldwide. Bikinis come in many shapes and sizes – tops can be double strapped or halterneck and bottoms can be strung or held together with more chunky straps. Girls will spend hours and hours picking out a suitable bikini, since this is critically important to show off their fashion sense to men. Men will then completely ignore the design and look for the cleavage and cameltoes instead. Here’s a plain bikini to get us started… - String bikini
The same as above, but the panels are held together with string (or ribbon). Somehow, the addition of string makes the whole ensemble more than 4.5 times more sexy. The reason for this is multiple. First of all, the hips are exposed more which everyone knows is one of a girl’s best selling points. And secondly, there is the suggestion that the whole thing could come off with a simple pull of a string. Remember girls – you learned to tie Granny knots in Brownies for a reason! - Impossible string bikini
And now the exclusive anime versions – The impossible string bikini consists of small (read: postage stamp sized) triangles of fabric (not always triangles, sometimes they are stars, sometimes seashells) held together by impossibly narrow strings. Inevitably, these are worn by enormous breasted women such as the ones currently showcased in Queen’s Blade. On first impression it may seem that these bikinis defy gravity by never slipping from their position atop the nipples, but this is not so. In fact, these are the evolution of the burlesque pastie – the back of the panels adheres to the nipples with a waterproof adhesive therefore supporting the breast and preserving a girl’s pride at the same time. Removal of the bikini, however is a far more tricky task… - Neck sash style bikini
Another style favoured by large breasted girls, this consists of a strip of fabric that wraps around the neck, over both breasts and converges to go under the crotch and connect back up at the neck at the back. Needless to say, the physics keeping a vertically held sash over nipples on an unsupported breast are more mind boggling than the impossible string bikini. However, the swimsuit manufacturers have another trick up their sleeve. Cunningly hidden within the sashes are very small suction cups which attach to the user’s nipples, keeping the garment in place while running. They also serve the purpose of being mildly pleasurable to wear and are easier to remove than the adhesive. Clever, huh? - Sling bikini (also impossible)
Famously worn by that teacher I can’t remember the name of at the moment from Mahoromatic, the just string bikini is an evolution of the Neck sash style, but with just very narrow string instead of the sash. The string widens silghtly in order to cover the nipples and vagina, but only very slightly. On first impression, this might seem to be the most impossible bikini in existance, but in fact the string is secretly wound round…nah I can’t even explain this one. Very silly indeed. - Band bikini (or underboob bikini)
Band bikinis are bikinis that have tops that are basically a narrow boob tube (read: strip of material encircling the breasts), held up by sheer elastic power. The main function of the band bikini is to accentuate the underboob, which, as anyone who has watched Saki knows, is the Holy Grail of big breasts. Forget cleavage – everyone has that. All big breasts deserve underboob. Hmm…that could be a new musical mnemonic. - School swimsuit
And finally we come to the very reason for the post – the best of the best – the School swimsuit. Unlike the UK, which has a variety of school issue swimsuits (or even none at all at some schools), Japan seems to have adopted a single design for its school swimsuits – dark blue onepieces with an optional white namelabel (I think these don’t really get used past elementary level in reality). The cunning thing about the school swimsuit design is that there is a gap in the material between the upper part of the onepiece and the lower – around the level of the pantyline. While the actual use of this gap remains a mystery (to me), it certainly allows for easier access for the more perverted of the female schoolgirl crowd. One might even think that it was designed specially for the purpose…perish the thought.
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9 Responses to “Swimsuits – The meaning of summertime?”
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July 2nd, 2009 @ 12:22 am
Ah, swim suit season. I can think of nothing better than the “Reef Girls”.
There’s a fat acceptance movement in America. Girls with wobbly bits like to wear bikinis. It’s really awful. One pieces were made for them, but quite a few seem insistent on shoving their girth in people’s faces.
Sadly, this happens in the lesbian community. It’s no secret lesbians have a higher obesity rate than heterosexual women. You can see them at gay prides, wearing only sports bras and long board shorts. Or bikini tops, when they have huge guts.
July 2nd, 2009 @ 2:52 am
You can’t? It’s actually pretty easy:
http://anisearch.net/?q=sachiko+bikini
July 2nd, 2009 @ 5:31 am
“The cunning thing about the school swimsuit design is that there is a gap in the material between the upper part of the onepiece and the lower – around the level of the pantyline. While the actual use of this gap remains a mystery (to me), it certainly allows for easier access for the more perverted of the female schoolgirl crowd.”
AFAIK the slit is designed to let out watter from the top half, so that the swimsuit does not get pulled down by the weight of the water.
July 2nd, 2009 @ 5:40 am
Nice.
I enjoy tank top bikinis and/or normal string bikinis. Comfortable and still sexy.
And that thing about seeing underwear is a crime but seeing swimsuits is ok is mind-boggling to me too. O_o;;
July 2nd, 2009 @ 7:45 pm
Note that there are actually two styles of sukumizu: the old style (??), which does feature the groper’s gap, and the new style (??) which really is a blue one piece in more modern fabric. The change was met with much lamentation among the loli-loving crowd.
July 2nd, 2009 @ 11:28 pm
Ah…brilliant, the only thing that would make this post even better would be more images…if only because I’m feeling lazy.
@mt-i I agree, the old style of school swimsuit is easily superior. Odd that both styles appear in something like Negima, if I remember correctly Konoka has the old style and Asuna the new.
July 5th, 2009 @ 6:56 pm
“Sadly, this happens in the lesbian community. It’s no secret lesbians have a higher obesity rate than heterosexual women. You can see them at gay prides, wearing only sports bras and long board shorts. Or bikini tops, when they have huge guts.”
I hope you’re not trying to say that every/most or even a big part of lesbians are fat, well even though I don’t know how thats in America I kinda feel insulted by that expression.
Also I may get that wrong Yuribou, but are you calling the band bikini impossible? If so I could proof that one at least wrong.
Also I think its not really too much of a reason with the fact that seeing in underwear can be compared too much to a swimwear. Firstly it depends on what kind of underwear, sexy one sometimes exposes more than every style of swimsuit. Also often you can actually see some more exposed woman on balconarys… not to mention that these are no swimsuit.
And what women find on man in swimsuits. Well you can see the strong feet (if there are) and a in summer in general often seen exposed sexy body (also only if there is one). But well I also am someone to enjoy the woman swimsuits.
July 8th, 2009 @ 4:55 am
As mt-i said, there is a new type of sukumizu. I was at a beach party recently, and saw some girls at the beach wearing them. But I also saw their father (I hope it was their dad anyway…), who was wearing multi-coloured speedos and a gut. The perfect deterrent to beach lolicons, methinks.
I’ve actually found some one pieces that are way more sexy than any bikini. But then the string bikini comes along and kicks the sexy one pieces ass…
August 12th, 2009 @ 6:44 am
I like to wear a string tie top and botom. When I feel real sexy I’ll put on a tonga ot thong. I am a little top heavy but don’t have fitting issues with a string tie and to be honest, love to show off!